Our Stories

In recovery, clean, and sober are all words or phrases that are thrown around a lot and used interchangeably, especially by those in the community of substance users. Believe it or not, there is a difference between the terms. A person can't be u2018in recovery' without being clean and sober, but you can be clean/sober without being in recovery. How?

Recovery is working through the issues that caused you to drink and use drugs. Clean/Sober is just putting them down.

Recovery is realizing that drugs and alcohol were the solution to the problem and not the problem themselves.

Recovery is about changing our behavior. Sobriety is just about changing our drinking and using habits.

Recovery means healing. Sobriety just means sober. Recovery is learning to love our selves and others. Recovery is finding peace. Recovery is continually becoming a better person. Recovery is owning up to our actions (right or wrong) and is giving up the victim role. Recovery is making amends, and not just saying we're sorry. Recovery is action. Recovery is daily. Recovery isn't a one-time thing, it is a lifelong journey. Sober or cleanu2014means just that. You are physically sober and clean. Recovery is so much more than just putting the substances down.

Interested in having support on your journey, contact OCJ today.

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"What an important week indeed and very dear to my heart! I have recently been struggling for my life, plagued with addiction. Too afraid to reach out and ask for help, too afraid to admit and let go of the things that I think work for me that don't, and too afraid to be honest about who and what I am. Completely wrapped up in guilt and shame for consistently hurting people that love me and care about me yet unwilling to do what is necessary to break that cycle and bring forth change!

Two nights ago I had two members of OCJ and the pastor of my church show up at my house ready to lay down their lives to help me. I had to admit defeat and call for help and once I finally did they were there and ready. If anyone is struggling and can't admit what needs to be done or doesn't know the only thing you need to do is call for help. The surrender puts the recovery process in motion and the suffering makes us finally able to accept the help listen so that we can change our patterns and behaviours that are failing us time and time again.

This group of collective experiences and shared stories are uniquely qualified to put you in the right direction so that you get the right help to save your life! Nobody can do that for you but they can help you once you decide to do it for yourself. For some of us it takes so much pain and suffering before we get there but as they say your bottom only hits when you stop digging.

Please I implore you to make one decision today to call and let people help, it will be the best thing that you do for yourself and those around you that love you and care about you. If you think that there is nobody that does there are groups of individuals who have gone through the same experience you're going through that will love you until you love yourself. That's the magic of shared experience and giving back freely what was given to us."

Recovery Series: Personal Story

I always like to call my childhood average. I grew up in a middle class home, neither rich nor poor....my parents are still married and I had a younger brother...no alcohol or drug abuse in the home. I had a very secure, stable and I'd even suggest a predictable home. Despite every reason I had reason to be a happy and well-adjusted kid, I never quite felt like I belonged. I always felt like a "faker"...like I had tricked people into thinking I was smart and nice, and also tricked them into thinking I belonged, because I knew I was on the outside looking in. If people really knew me...saw me, they would know how unworthy and incapable I really was....and then there would be rejection.

Hence, the imposter. The person I sent into the world on my behalf....the bright, shiny and happy person showed up around age 14. The character did well in school, made friends easily and secured great jobs. And I did that all by tricking people. The real me, the one that no one saw....was empty, insecure, filled with self-loathing and jealousy.

I started to treat that dark feeling and powerlessness in my own way. My obsession with restricting food and starving is what took me into counselling, psychiatry, day treatment and medication for many years. I thought it had finally worked!! All the doctors and group therapy finally lifted my obsessive thoughts around food, but honestly....the SAME day I packed up my food scale and stopped weighing food portions, was the day I picked up the bottle and my relationship with alcohol really took off.

I see now, that I continued to treat the same internal condition...just using different substances. My fall into chaos was immediate and never seemed to slow down. I could no longer attend work, a place where I was respected and had been a top performer for many years. I wasn't getting out of bed or showering and I was deeply depressed and highly suicidal. Despite all that I had to live for and the many reasons I had to quit...I could NOT quit. And I really believed that the world would be a better place with me....a "taker" a person that required a "babysitting", not useful in any way, nor contributing to a single thing in life.

Despite all signs indicating I had a serious problem with alcohol, I had a pretty good idea of what an Alcoholic was u2013 and it was NOT me. I owned my own home, always held a valid driver's license...I wasn't abused, or spending my last dollar on a bottle or hitting the food bank. I saw myself (poor me) in a misunderstood category....of not really having a problem...but also kind of having a problem.

In an effort to stop the constant pleading from my parents, and the desire to get back to work I enrolled in a treatment program in Medicine Hat, AB to address my alcoholism. But the real gift was being introduced to the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous and a handful of people that changed the course of my life.

Today u2013 my life is completely different. I'm just NOT drinking...but the obsession to drink has been REMOVED. I know deep peace in my life...something I've never known before. I'm back to work, I've been able to restore my credibility as a trusted employee. My personal relationships have been cleaned up, and I've made amends where required. The hope and joy I have in my life is a real experience and I'm no longer faking the happy look on my face.

Please reach out, you are not alone!

"I grew up a teenage daughter of a mother who suffered from severe depression which resulted in an opioid addiction as a means of coping. This then resulted in the death of my mother after many attempts over the years of suicide she had finally suceeded. By the age of 12 I was already using drugs and alcohol to cope with the chaos I was surrounded with. Growing up in this situation created so many insecurities and mental health issues in myself. I was never told what was going on in my house. My dad always just pretended everything was fine when she wasn't a mess and would work 16 hours days when she was a mess avoiding the scenario all together leaving me scared, unsafe, depressed and angry. The Typical Taboo conversation where lets just not talk about it. After the death of my mother I was sexually abused by an immediate family member who took advantage of me while I was under the influence of alcohol. This increased the substance abuse and I spent my entire school years using, marijuana, mushrooms, cocaine, ritalin, and alcohol to cope with the emotional pain and suffering I was going through.

I moved away from my home town after graduation and nothing got any better. I found better drugs like crack, meth and morphine that worked better for numbing the pain away. I spent years in this state with multiple attempts of suicude hoping with each time I got high that I would take enough to die. In and out of my one time I would show up to

therapy that was never easily accessible to me. Going to dry out to not have anywhere to place me and me leaving to only get high and never make it to any long term treatment facility. I was at the lowest point in my life. Then the miraculous day came where I woke up and with a feeling of surrender. I quit fighting everything that was killing me: the hurt, pain, anger, abuse, and the abandonment. I called my best friend and said I needed help and I asked if I could live with her and get sober. I got on a bus the same day and started my new life where drugs weren't going to be my means of coping. I chose not to be a product of my past and told myself I was deserving of a life worth living. I took the steps I knew I needed to get clean and don't get me wrong I fell off the wagon a few toomany times before I figured out everything.

Over the years I have done extensive amounts of therapy to better understand myself and how my upbringing impacts my relationship today. I learned that I have ADHD and anxiety and now I medicate for ADHD and use physical fitness to manage my anxiety along with meditation apps. I have learned to set healthy boundaries with myself and others. Today I choose to surround myself with individuals who will only lift me up. People who encourage me to be my best self and people who understand my past but don't manipulate or take advantage of my vulnerability. I am the proud mother of 2 beautiful teenage daughters who I have a great relationship with. One that is fueled on open communication no matter how bad I wish I didn't hear what they have to say sometimes. I raise them to know it's ok to say the hard stuff because when you can talk about the hard shit that's when growth happens.. I will never quit working on myself... Every day I become a better person that I love and that I am proud of and I'm not done achieving the many life goals I have set out for myself."

If this person's story resonates with you, please message us and we can put you in contact with this individual. You are not alone.

"I am a 39-year-old partner, father, and a friend. Everyday I battle my anxiety, my depression, my post concussion syndrome, PTSD and a speech impediment. To deal with my mental health unwellness I had to step out of my comfort zone. I had to face my fears, my anxieties, my demons and all my darkness. My darkness is that voice in my head that tells me I am not good enough. It screams I'm not strong enough to overcome my past or deal with this rollercoaster we call life. It tells me I am not worthy of love and that I will never find forgiveness from my guilt and shame. Those things my darkness tries to make me believe are all lies. It's scary as hell, but I learnt I was not alone.

Growing up I never knew how to explain what was going on inside of me. I fought the darkness everyday with a sensitive soul, a troubled heart and an anxious mind. Childhood traumas plus a speech impediment left me with low self-esteem, unhealthy coping mechanisms and anger towards my Higher Power. I grew up playing team sports and had what seemed to be a normal life. But on the inside, I was hiding away so much pain. I felt alone surrounded by the people I tried to please and looked to for acceptance. Growing up mental health was a taboo topic. I had all these feelings inside of me and no idea how to communicate them. I internalized all these emotions for so many years because I did not know what depression and anxiety were. And back then I did not know my enemy, my darkness, or how to deal with it all.

The first time I thought of taking my life I was in grade 7. I had gotten off the bus filled with panic and fear. I got home, went downstairs, jumped in the shower and just cried. I did not want to be alive. I never wanted to go back to school or look any one in the eye again. I blamed God for my stutter and was mad at Him for many years. I did not want to face another day of feeling small and different. I hated going to school and I tried to hide in the back of the classroom. I dreaded reading out loud and when called upon to answer questions I wanted my world to end. I missed a lot of school because of my anxiety. It had me feeling physically ill. Some day's I would pretend to be sick because it was easier to be absent then to face the ridicule. Both teachers and kids found my speech impediment an easy target for jokes. All of these things led me to battle the thought of suicide through out junior high, high school and into adulthood. u200b

12 years ago, I was out checking cows and got bucked off my horse. I suffered a major concussion, a neck injury and a brain bleed. My mental, physical and spiritual health was tested. And unfortunately, I wasn't strong enough to cope in healthy ways. I struggled to numb the pain I felt with alcohol and pain killers. I was on low dose anti depressants for my migraines and brain pains. All the pills left me feeling groggy, foggy and nausea. I was left feeling more depressed and disconnected from my life and the world around me. The darkness began to become too much. Then 8 years ago I hit rock bottom. Bad life choices, migraines, random nerve pain and my depression left me hiding away in the basement. Isolating myself from my family seemed the easiest. It separated my darkness from my kids. I thought I was keeping them safe. Instead, I was only missing out on their lives. To this day I struggle to forgive myself for all the years I spent curled up on the couch. It was at this point I decided I needed to do something. It was very clear to me if I did not do something I would not be alive much longer. At first, I tried to do it on my own. So, I learnt about psychology, brain injuries, mental health and Buddha. I had too many sleepless nights battling insomnia. I spent that time reading, learning how to mediate, praying for answers and hoping for rest. I was trying to understand myself and what I was going through. Slowly I began to understand how my past vices, childhood traumas and the effects of 10 plus concussions were affecting the present day me. I had all this knowledge and philosophy up in my head but still I was struggling. It was at this point I decided to find a counselor. Speaking with a professional was the best thing I ever did for my mental health. It was hard and scary sharing my life and my past with a stranger. But there was something cathartic about sharing who I was, what I had been through and what I had over come with someone. You get to share your struggles, your traumas and your Light. It helped me to start putting my life into perspective. When I took the time to reflect on my life from a calm rational viewpoint, I began to see all the positive things in my life. And I started to see all the areas of myself i need to work on.

Until 2 years ago I had sworn off antidepressants. My negative first try left me jaded towards those capsules. But today I take my pills everyday and night, I see a psychologist, a psychiatrist, I try to have a healthy sleep routine and I have found my way back to the Cross. Recently I was diagnosed with ADHD. Imagine an early childhood diagnosis? The reason for my racing mind, my inability to focus at school and the poor impulsive decisions I made through out my life started to make sense. But all the pain and suffering have led me to learn, to grow and to view the world differently. We can allow all that pain and struggle to eat at our soul and make us hard. Or we can plant a seed in the tough crusted soil of torment and grow. We need to learn to be gentle with ourselves especially when we are hurting. We need to learn to be compassionate with our own thoughts. We need to find ways to challenge past traumas and we need ways to break negative thought patterns. Getting professional help, working on living a healthy lifestyle and finding our faith can help to promote positive self talk and create positive healthy tools to use against our darkness.

To live with anxiety is to live-in worry and fear of the future. What could or should go wrong will. Our anxiety has us in a constant state of uneasiness. We all have stress in our lives but when we get caught in the fight or flight mode our nervous systems get stuck in overdrive and our brains and bodies can react in negative ways. We can start to feel numb to the world around us or over stimulated. Our hearts and minds are constantly racing like we are being chased by a monster. Unfortunately, those monsters can be our own thoughts and our own actions. How do can we hide from ourselves? Our lives are meant to be lived in the present. When we live with depression we are living in the past with guilt and regret. A wise woman once told me regret and guilt are two useless emotions that only rob us of happiness in the now. We do not have a time machine to go back and change the past. We do not get to change our past traumas or take back the pain we may have caused others while we ourselves were hurting. We can try to seek forgiveness from others but may end up not receiving it. We may hope for apologies that never come. These are the natural consequence of our actions. However, we need to find positive ways to deal with these feelings and consequences. This is where forgiveness of self and empathy are needed. The only way I have been able to find peace with my past transgressions and let go of the guilt, regret and shame was to put my faith in Christ. But our ego, our demons and our darkness can eat away at our soul day by day. And soon we can define ourselves by our past transgressions. Our power to change the narrative of our past comes in how we reframe our experiences and emotions in those moments of trauma and in that pain. If we can rewrite our perspective, then we can begin to rewire our brains. If we can change the way we view a negative experience we can find some good and take back the power it holds over us.

When someone makes that choice too take their life all rational thought is gone. I have walked that line, and in that moment, you honestly believe that the world and your family would be better off with out you. Our darkness engulfs us, it lies to us, and the darkness drowns out our Light. It plays on our doubts, our demons and our fears. All we can feel is an emptiness and a hopelessness. All we can hear is a loud voice telling us that there is the only one way out. In a moment we can make that choice to end it all. But the truth is that its up to those of us who struggle to find the strength to ask for help. We must be the ones who take that first step. We all have the power in us to change our lives. Helping others and sharing our stories is not only cathartic but needed in order to heal. Do not be afraid to share your story or your struggle with others because you never know who might be listening in that moment. It might change a life, inspire someone out of darkness or give hope to the hopeless. Today when my anxiety and depression get the best of me, I turn inward. I remember all the times I have overcome negative thought patterns, the times I calmed my racing mind with mediation and spoke my truth knowing my faith would carry me through. I have learnt to create healthy relationships, let go of addictions and to use positive self talk when the loudest voice in my head tells me to give up. Being grateful for each day, each relationship and every mistake you have made helps us learn a lesson. Soon the voice of the darkness gets quitter, less aggressive and some days it is only a whisper. Today I know this world is a better place with me in it, my kids' lives are better because I am here, and I have found a healthy relationship that gives me strength when the darkness tries to knock me off the path I am on. In order to give ourselves the best tools, the best knowledge and the best armour to battle everyday, we need to take care of our physical health, our mental well-being and connect with our spiritual self. That might mean leaving a toxic relationship, setting strong boundaries with others or having a faith in a Higher Power. Let Go and Let God.u201d

If this person's story resonates with you, please message us and we can put you in contact with this individual. You are not alone.

"I was born and raised in Medicine Hat, the middle daughter of 3. I grew up in an alcohol free home. I often heard stories of alcoholic relatives and was aware that alcoholism was in our family. From my very first memories as a young child I remember the constant feelings of loneliness and fear. Always wanting to be someone else, always wanting to feel different, never content and always comparing my insides to everyone's outsides. I was to the extreme quiet and shy but always seeking attention and approval. From a very young age I had suicidal thoughts. My brain never was quiet. I felt a prisoner in my own mind. Even the simplest things would happen and I would spend days if not months still thinking it over. I had my first drink at 12 years old and drinking became regular on weekends until graduation year. It felt a way to escape from reality, it blocked the thoughts for a while and took away the fears of living. But I never drank the way my friends did, I could never have just one and would wake up the next day with no recollection of the night before. I won awards for funniest person in grade 9 and grade 12. I never understood what they saw in me that I didn't. Alcohol made me everything I wanted to be funny, confident, social, until it stopped working.

At 18 I was married and and had my first daughter. I truly believed I had found my purpose, I felt it was who I was destined to be my whole life. I thought I had everything I ever wanted. 3 healthy beautiful daughters, the family home, nice vehicles, family vacations. Yet I still felt alone and very uncomfortable in my own skin. I made many visits to the Dr. office, I suffered from depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. My marriage ended after 15 years. As my daughters grew older I found I had more time to myself and continued on where I had left off in High-school. Alcohol once again made me more social, and gave me a sense of worth and belonging. I searched for myself in relationships with men, drugs, alcohol. What was just drinking on the weekends became daily and no matter how hard I tried I could not stop.

I tried just quitting drugs hoping that was my problem, I tried just beer for a while, then just wine, soon I couldn't leave the house or go to work because I knew I couldn't go long without a drink. Within 3 years I was a daily black out drunk. Waking up the next day full of guilt and shame. Terrorizing the lives of all those who cared and loved me. I became someone I could not control while drinking. I physically and mentally harmed my children, family and friends. I didn't want to live sober and I didn't want to live drunk anymore. The solution to my problems no longer worked. My daughters were saddened and scared so they made the decision to leave and go live with there dad. A recovered alcoholic friend reached out to me . I never knew there could be others out there that felt like I did, had thoughts like I did, and wanted to die just like I did. She first gave me hope by sharing her experience and then by taking me through the 12 step program of recovery. Today I am 20 months sober and will be forever indebted to the people that reached out to me. They showed me that I can make right the wrongs of my past and live free from the obsession I had. Today I know longer live in fear and live in the present. I want to be alive! Not all are fortunate live through this and I am very blessed to share my story with others that it may also give someone hope and a chance to ask for help."

If this person's story resonates with you, please message us and we can put you in contact with this individual. You are not alone.

Although my parents did the best they knew how, I learned at a very young age that Its not okay to be who I am. To express myself meant shaming, belittling, anger and hostility. It was quite confusing - I still don't understand why affection was always held from me but not my younger brother. u00a0 Throughout the years, I did everything I could to win over my parents and nothing changed. I did well in school, I worked part time, I graduated- moved out on my own. When my children were born, I got married. When my husband died- I got a university degree, I landed great jobs in the community, I made good money, raised two, well-adjusted children on my own and I have a very large social circle of close, loving friendships. I did all of this on my own- never asked for help as I thought being independent was a good thing.u00a0 After my brother died of a drug overdose, the relationship with my family became so hurtful and unhealthy and we have now been estranged for many years.u00a0

What my family and many of my friends did not know was the double life I had always been living. Since I was young, every free minute outside of my responsibilities I was drinking, using drugs, using people, using anything external to get outside of my busy, overactive brain.u00a0 My solution to every feeling that I felt was to have a drink or do drugs, or both. Bored-drink, insecure- drink beer. Happy- get wasted, stressed- smoke joints, anxious-hard alcohol, excited- blow, booze. Every social situation, funerals, weddings, birthday, holidays, Fridays, Saturdays.....eventually all of my friendships, hobbies, interests all revolved around drinking and drug use.u00a0

Throughout the past 18 years there were constant attempts at moderating, exploring other interests, counselling, journaling, reading books on self-growth, psychology and addiction courses, wellness courses, fitness challenges, diets, travel retreats, hanging out with nondrinkers and pretending to be interested. Nothing was exciting or felt right without drugs and alcohol taking me to the next level.u00a0u00a0u00a0

I was so incredibly sick and tired- exhausted and disgusted with who I was as a person. I felt so lost, so confused and couldn't understand why I hurt so many people and set myself back every time I was left to my own devices. Why did I hate myself so much?u00a0 My soul was screaming. My brain was fried.u00a0 I wanted more u2013 I knew there was more out there for me and I just couldn't seem to get it. In May 2018 I realized that I couldn't do this alone anymore. I asked for help. Since then my relationships are meaningful- healthy. My life has grown immensely. I am comfortable and proud of who I am.

If this person's story resonates with you, please message us and we can put you in contact with this individual. You are not alone.

"In 2018 I tried to kill myself. I can count on one hand the amount of people I've ever said that to, and I can promise you that I've never shared that with anyone while I was sober. It wasn't the first time I had thought about suicide and in fact I had thought it out over time. I had invested a lot of time into thoughts of why it needed to be done, how it needed to be done and had ultimately convinced myself that it was for the benefit of enough people that it was worth it.

One failed relationship after another largely in part to substance abuse and lack of self-care. I was acutely aware of the pain I had caused people so much so that I became unaware of just how much pain I was experiencing myself until it became too late.

To this day I don't know what prompted me to make a call to Edmonton from Halifax. I remember the call clearly though. JM is a dear friend of mine that I have always felt comfortable being vulnerable around. I still think about the things I said and the damage it caused to our friendship that day, but when she hung up the phone with me and called the RCMP I think she saved my life. If you're reading this I'm sorry and thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am so lucky to be able to share this message with anyone who wants to read it and without her it wouldn't be possible.

It took some time after that day to fully realize what I had narrowly avoided, and to be able to share my emotions with people who I didn't realize cared so much. They told me they did, but I didn't really realize it until I saw the look on their face when I told them. Its one of the great tragedies of my life that I doubted how much my close friends cared about me so much that I had to knock on death's door to see it for what it was. To them, I am also sorry, but owe them a great deal of thanks for helping me heal.

I had spent most of my life looking for some way to forget about the fact that I had grown up poor with very few friends. I was an outcast and over time learned to hate the world around me. This eventually turned in to anger toward everyone; my parents, the people around me, society. I thought what I needed was to be numb to it all. Rather than focusing my energy on resolving these thoughts I turned to alcohol and drugs to temporarily forget about them. What I didn't expect was that not processing these issues only brought them back stronger and more frequently when I wasn't under the influence. The more I used, the less I had to think about it. Concurrently though, more problems were popping up in my life. I wasn't paying my bills, I was being unfaithful and hurtful to my partners, I lost jobs, I lost friends and got a DUI. I didn't have an off switch anymore. I was so lost I didn't even remember where it all began anymore. Eventually over time I became depressed and lost my will to live.

Things began to change for me while I was in the military. I was still a functioning alcoholic and was dabbling in other things. This would ultimately lead to me getting out of the military but not before witnessing some life changing events. Watching my close friends who I often refer to as my brothers and sisters come home from overseas struggling to cope with depression and PTSD I began to look at ways I could help.

I left this career path and turned my focus to oil and gas where I've been lucky enough to find a great deal of success. I've spent the last eleven years on this journey in oil only to find myself still unfulfilled, and still struggling with addiction. Still constantly trying to repair the damages I have done to my once happy relationship with my partner who, for some reason, sees the good in me still and has come back to me time and time again, even though I push her away. She is my rock and I find inspiration through her daily.

Trying to kill myself was the most terrifying moment of my life, but it has taught me several things:

- I am loved

- I am not alone

- It is not worth it

Perhaps this isn't so much my story as it is my message, and my acknowledgement of the people that have helped and continue to help me along the way. You are not alone u2013 it is okay to need help sometimes."

If this person's story resonates with you, please message us and we can put you in contact with this individual. You are not alone.

This day-long event was intended to help our community frame a pathway forward in healing through messages of HOPE.

We heard from a wide variety of individuals from various backgrounds. Watch videos from the day below.

Our next Framing a Pathway Forward event is set to occur on September 10, 2021.

Our Collective Journey

Our Collective Journey is a peer support group formed in Medicine Hat that encourages individuals experiencing mental health and addiction issues to step out from behind the heavy curtain of shame.

Two of the founders, Ryan Oscar and Rick Armstrong have both experienced their own personal darkness and share stories of how they moved through that darkness and into a new light.

The Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) promotes the mental health of all and supports the resilience and recovery of people experiencing mental illness and addiction disorders.

Join Breanne Mellen our Suicide Prevention Coordinator and Allysa Larmor our Suicide Prevention Educator as they walk us through "Don't Just Survive, THRIVE." This is a presentation on how to overcome the challenges and disappointments that are an unavoidable part of life and get back to being the creator of your life.

To complete our first Framing a Pathway Forward event, the team wraps up what they have discussed over the day, and talks about what is coming up moving forward.

There are two ways we can approach recovery: by simply complying with what is being asked of us, or surrendering our power. In our experience, individuals who surrender have much more success staying in continuous recovery. Let's look at the differences:

Compliance?
The word compliance entails obeying what others are telling us to do. When we're complying, we may not even want to do what others are asking of us. Many people will comply with the wishes of their friends, loved ones, or even the legal system by going to treatment. I was one of them. However, I didn't have a true desire to recover from my addiction, I still thought I would be able to control it. We know that a person must want to recover in order to to have a solid chance at an alternate, healthy life.

Complying with treatment was just a temporary solution to satisfy others. In order to begin recovery through whatever method is selected (residential treatment, therapy, 12 Step program, etc.) it's rarely enough to simply comply. Instead, a person must surrender.

Surrender?
Surrendering, on the other hand, happens when we realize there is no exit plan, no easier, softer way. In my experience, I explored every other way and MY best thinking took me to suicide, the ICU, and a psychiatric ward. Twice. Committing to recovery was the only way to begin truly living a happy, fulfilled life without substance. I recognized that I could no longer continue fighting, hiding, and resisting. I realized I couldn't do this all on my own and I become open minded to something else guiding me. Something greater than myself.

When we surrendered, we took our ego u2013 one of the very things that got us into this situation in the first place u2013 out of the picture.

Nothing good can come of letting our egos control our thoughts and behaviours. When we are humble and let go of our ego, it allows us to accept our lives the way they are in this moment. Totally present. We accept that we are where we are and that's okay. We begin to realize all we can control is our own thoughts and behaviours.

Once I was able to fully surrender, I could start my recovery journey.

If you or someone you know is struggling with this, please reach out to OCJ. We can help explore options with you. You are not alone.